


it's getting too stronger (my feelings for you)

by dootdoot



Category: Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Dreams and Nightmares, M/M, any mistakes are mine, deadly dream shenanigans, honestly idk either just take it, no i still don't know how to properly end a fic, the summary sounds so light-hearted that's probably a mistake, this is fueled with no sleep and lots of cookies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26418709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dootdoot/pseuds/dootdoot
Summary: Sometimes it takes a trip into a person's psyche in a dream to make them realise that they're a mess.In Jamil's case, a big mess.
Relationships: Kalim Al-Asim/Jamil Viper
Comments: 9
Kudos: 101





	it's getting too stronger (my feelings for you)

**Author's Note:**

> happy birthday jamil! tbh this doesn't exactly fit as a birthday fic. i'm sorry to make you suffer on your birthday.
> 
> title from dreamcatcher's can't get you out of my mind.

Jamil snapped his eyes open.

It wasn’t a gradual awakening that he was usually blessed with. It was a jolt through his body, something screaming at him to wake up. The first thing he noticed was the seemingly endless blue sky, leaves shading him away from the blinding sun.

 _Where am I?_ Jamil scanned his surroundings. It’s starting to feel familiar, this is the very gardens he often walked alongside Kalim, and on some occasions, his sister. They would often, at Kalim’s request, play from day to night. His sister, complain endlessly with. But that’s all the way back at the Land of Hot Sands, in Kalim’s home.

 _How did I get here?_ Jamil frowned, standing. He briefly recalled passing out in his room after a day full of tests and assignments, not bothering to pull the covers over himself. _Did one of the students put a spell on me? No, that’s impossible. Magic of this calibre is too high leveled, so-_

“Hi Mister!”

If anyone had been there, they would’ve at least heard some sort of noise coming out of Jamil, which he’ll never admit. He did, however, jumped away from the source.

A boy stood in front of him, staring up at him. He blinked, tilting his head a bit, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

The boy couldn’t be older than 10. He smiled, red eyes never leaving him. Jamil couldn’t feel any malicious intent from the boy, but the way he stares is uneasy. The more he looked, the more he recognises him. He couldn’t tell if that’s a good thing.

“Kalim…?”

The boy grinned, clasping his hands together, “Ah, so you do remember me!”

“I don’t understand,” Jamil crouched to be at eye level with this younger version of Kalim. “Is this a dream?”

“If you believe it is, then it is.”

Jamil doesn’t like that answer, nor that smile. It’s as if the boy’s trying too hard. Unlike Kalim, who did it so easily, so freely. “Okay, so I just have to wake up.”

Child Kalim nodded, “Pretty much, yeah.”

This is the strangest dream he ever had. He’s never been this conscious of his self in a dream before. He’s honestly not sure what he’s supposed to do. Pinch himself? Stay there until his mind wakes?

As if telepathic (well, it is his dream), child Kalim pulled him, “If you want to wake up, you gotta do some stuff first.”

The way the boy tugged at his sleeve reminded him too much of his actual childhood, Kalim always dragging him to places without his input. Not like he could, what Kalim says goes after all. For now, he supposes he’ll entertain this version of Kalim his brain conjured up. “Like what?”

The child hummed, “What about hide and seek?”

* * *

Jamil walked down the hallways of the Asim manor. Instinctively, he knew exactly where to go, which rooms are which, and which corridor leads to the other wing. He’s been here for most of his life, its map might as well etched on the palm of his hand.

_“Count to ten, okay!”_

_“Yeah, yeah.”_

_“And no peeking!”_

_Jamil rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help the small quirk of his lips._

As far as he could tell, there’s no one else besides himself and small Kalim. It’s incredibly eerie, having to scour through the whole place alone to find a single child. There’s barely any light left, and none of the lights were lit. He tried switching them on, but there doesn’t seem to be any electricity. He swore he didn’t start too long ago, yet the sun’s almost leaving.

Sometimes he'll hear child Kalim’s laughter by the corridor, only to find no one there. It’s getting more frustrating, and some part of him is becoming more anxious by the minute. Perhaps it’s the lack of life, perhaps it’s the way the shadows seem to shift if he moves too quick.

“Kalim?” He called out. The wind blew past him, cold enough to make him shiver. “You there?”

No replies. Of course there wouldn’t be any. He checked all of Kalim’s favourite spots back when they were children. His room, the living room, the balcony, and the kitchen. He couldn’t find any signs of the boy. Where else could he be? His parent’s room? He would never, afraid they’ll yell at him if he did. The servants’ quarters? He was never allowed to go there.

Jamil stopped in his tracks. In his dream, there’s no one to chastise them both, no one to get mad if they broke some rules. They are free to do as they please, without any consequence. The thought didn’t bring him comfort, as it usually would.

Before he knew it, his feet brought him to the servants’ quarters, where he, his family and other staff stayed. He doesn’t know why, but there’s something pulling him there.

The sinking feeling in his stomach worsens.

It looks the same, but there’s something about it that’s different. The whole area slowly distorted in his vision, the colours seemingly fading and jumbled altogether. There were whispers in his ear, in his head- all of it mixed up and accusing and familiar. ~~He doesn’t want to go~~ but he has to.

_~~Why do I have to?~~ _ _I have to._

The next thing he knew, he’s in front of his room. He knocked (why did he knock? It’s _his_ room) once, twice, only for the door to open on its own. His heart pounded too fast, his blood rushing too quick. He sways, the doorframe the only thing supporting him. The ringing in his ears getting louder and a migraine forms in his head.

“You found me!”

And just like that, it all disappears. The haze cleared out, the younger Kalim appearing in his view, smiling. “Took you long enough!”

Only then did he realise the place he’s in. Everything else dissolved into nothing, replaced by black ink- the liquid rising, consuming. He took a step back, “What-”

The boy- no, he’s not a boy anymore, he’s grown _somehow_ , back to his original age- grabbed his arm, his grip tight enough to leave a mark. His touch seared through his skin, burning him. He yelped, the pain becoming too much.

“What’s wrong?” It’s strange to hear Kalim’s voice with such venom. The smile’s still there and he _hates_ it. “Are you hurt?”

He let go of his hold. Jamil wavered, the dizziness hitting him in waves. It’s almost too much work to keep himself standing. “What are you doing!?”

“It’s always like this, isn’t it?” Dream Kalim laughed, almost wistful. “Everything I do, I only hurt you. My words, my touch… All of it’s painful to you.”

He couldn’t understand. It’s all too confusing and he just wants to wake up from this nightmare. He took a breath, calming himself down. “What do you want?”

This time, a genuine smile. “For you to do what you want.”

_What I want?_

Kalim put his hands on his own throat, “You want me gone, don’t you? You want to hurt me. Kill me.”

_No, I don’t. I don’t I don’t I-_

He finds his own fingers closing in on Kalim’s throat. His breath hitched. He wants to. He can’t believe he (still) want to. Kalim seems so… small under him. Fragile. Vulnerable. Jamil could easily snap his neck. It’ll be quick. He wouldn’t feel a thing.

“Why do I deserve this?”

“You know-” What’s wrong with him? Why is he like this? _Why are his fingers still on Kalim’s throat?_ “You know why.”

Kalim scowled. An unfamiliar sight- he’s used to his Kalim who always smiles and laughs. The only time he saw this was… “Say it then. Why!?”

“…I…”

“Say it!”

“Because I hate you!”

His words echoed in the darkness. “You’re an annoying, ignorant, spoiled little brat who’s too stuck in his own world to notice everything else around him! How the hell is it fair that my family have to serve under yours to survive!? That I can’t ever be better than you in anything!?”

He panted, delirious after his display.

The silence after that was deafening.

Kalim’s gaze softens, as if he’s pleased with this. “Then do it.”

“…” He released his hold. “…I can’t.”

Kalim frowned, “Why not? You hate me, don’t you? My family, and myself, made yours suffer through so much. So why?”

Jamil stared at the ink below, the darkness reflecting his image. Shame, cowardice, consequence, all those thoughts circled in his head. Yet there’s one that stood out above the rest.

_I love you._

…yes, he spent seventeen years building up all his anger towards his aide. Kalim acting so carefree and blind while he had to hide in his shadow. Live a life of luxury while he toiled away- never being able to climb up the ranks. Annoying him in every possible instance without acknowledging his wishes.

Yet at the same time, Kalim managed to worm his way through his heart, as he did with everyone else. Kalim’s cheerful, bright and incredibly insistent on becoming his friend. On spending time with him as if they _are_ friends and making him laugh. Staying with him, even after he was bedridden. Believed in him when others don’t.

…willing to stand by him, even after what he did.

He pulled Kalim to him, keeping him close, resting his chin on Kalim’s head. “You’re made up in my mind. You should know.”

The other let out a small laugh, sinking in his embrace, “Yes, I suppose.”

The world around him brightens, the ink turning into clear water. The sky and ocean beneath them seem to expand infinitely, the water perfectly mirroring them. He wonders how his mind could have the capacity to create a place like this.

 _Beautiful._ Jamil sighed. Dream Kalim smiled, “Maybe so. But that’s not a good enough reason for you to stay any longer.”

Jamil was taken aback, earning him a giggle. Right, this Kalim could hear his thoughts. He cleared his throat, trying to mask his embarrassment. “I can leave?”

Kalim nodded. “You’ve done your part. Nothing’s keeping you here anymore.”

“Keeping me here?" Jamil frowned. "What do you mean?”

Kalim pursed his lips, his gaze lowered, “I’m afraid I can’t answer that."

“…alright.” Jamil figured it won’t be that easy. “So, how do I leave?”

“Simple.” Kalim walked up to him, bumping his forehead. He could feel butterflies in his stomach multiplying, his heart about to burst. Kalim brought their faces closer, his lips brushing against his. A soft mumble was the last thing he heard, “Like this.”

* * *

Jamil woke in the school infirmary.

He groaned, still groggy after all that. He rubbed his eyes, shaking any last remnant of sleep away.

“Jamil!”

Immediately he’s greeted by none other than the boy haunting his dream. Kalim ran up to him, instantly hugging him like it’s his lifeline. “You’re awake! I’m so glad you’re okay!”

Almost as quick as it began, Kalim pulled away, his face red from embarrassment. He must have forgotten about their deal. Jamil coughed, his cheeks heating up as well. “What happened?”

“I should ask you the same thing,” Kalim said, plopping on a chair beside his bed, “You never woke up. I thought that maybe it’s because you were exhausted, but when people tried to wake you, you just… don’t respond to anything. I thought you were…”

He shook his head. “Nevermind that. What matters is that you’re okay!”

Kalim fished out a small snack packet from his bag, handing it to him. “Here. You’re probably hungry, right? It’s not much, but it should be enough until I get you some food! Oh, or someone else get you food.”

He gingerly takes the offering. Their fingers met a bit, yet that’s enough for his heart to skip. He can’t believe he’s been rendered to some lovesick fool, all because of some- dream? Can he really call it a dream if it affects his real body this much? He could still feel the ghost of the burn on his arm, the feel of skin on his hands. Lips upon his. “Thank you.”

Kalim smiled, “Okay! Get some- I mean, more rest. And I’ll get you some food!”

Once Kalim left, Jamil sighed, hiding his face in his hands.

He truly is in love with that adorable idiot.

**Author's Note:**

> jamil's a Big Mess. god. i'm a mess.
> 
> if you reached here and go, "what the heck did i just read?" same. i have no idea either.
> 
> for more explanation: jamil's put under a spell where he's stuck in his dreams and whether he wakes up depends on if he could face his inner demons, stuff like that. and he could die in that dream if he succumbs. so yeah. bad. who did it? that's up to your imagination.
> 
> (yes it's because i don't know, i just wanted to write this premise... for his birthday... i'm terrible.)


End file.
